A typical morning
- Wake up at 17:30.
- Eat a "delicious" almost raw vegetable meal consisting of half a broccoli, one aspargus, half a belgian salad, a couple of olives, some olive oil, pepper and red capsicum. Sprinkle with feta cheese and sour cream.
- Think about how to get coffee but then get in a bad mood because of stress due to the uncertain nature of the future and decide to quit drinking coffee.
- Remember that a guy gave you half a gram of hash yesterday and get high.
- Smoke too much and puke up the whole meal. Blame it on the vegetarian kebab roll you had last night.
- Promise to never smoke again, quit coffee, tobacco, alcohol and get better sleep.
- Take a shower and make a fantastic discovery: beautiful, beautiful music of nature. A myriad of sounds playing harmoniously at different rythms with different sounds eminating from the water. Realize it has always been there but up until now eluded my attention.
- Regain body control. Start once again to think impure thoughts. Symptoms of addictions returning.
- Look at hail coming down and wonder about it. Decide to be more nice to everyone, especially the ones that are close to you.
- Lie down at meditate and decide to figure out if writing as an outlet of emotion will suffice.
- Palm eyes for half an hour to rest and discover that eyes never rest. Discover red, white, yellow and blue light even if eyes are closed. I try to imagine cells being repaired and for a moment think it's for real.
- Start working because I need money to survive.
Life is not real, it's an illusion, you are a hologram. Your values, ideas and thoughts are a result of you being conditioned to think like that every day since you were born. You are all-powerful and can change your perception of the world as you see fit. Never forget that.
2011/09/08