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A typical morning

  1. Wake up at 17:30.
  2. Eat a "delicious" almost raw vegetable meal consisting of half a broccoli, one aspargus, half a belgian salad, a couple of olives, some olive oil, pepper and red capsicum. Sprinkle with feta cheese and sour cream.
  3. Think about how to get coffee but then get in a bad mood because of stress due to the uncertain nature of the future and decide to quit drinking coffee.
  4. Remember that a guy gave you half a gram of hash yesterday and get high.
  5. Smoke too much and puke up the whole meal. Blame it on the vegetarian kebab roll you had last night.
  6. Promise to never smoke again, quit coffee, tobacco, alcohol and get better sleep.
  7. Take a shower and make a fantastic discovery: beautiful, beautiful music of nature. A myriad of sounds playing harmoniously at different rythms with different sounds eminating from the water. Realize it has always been there but up until now eluded my attention.
  8. Regain body control. Start once again to think impure thoughts. Symptoms of addictions returning.
  9. Look at hail coming down and wonder about it. Decide to be more nice to everyone, especially the ones that are close to you.
  10. Lie down at meditate and decide to figure out if writing as an outlet of emotion will suffice.
  11. Palm eyes for half an hour to rest and discover that eyes never rest. Discover red, white, yellow and blue light even if eyes are closed. I try to imagine cells being repaired and for a moment think it's for real.
  12. Start working because I need money to survive.

Life is not real, it's an illusion, you are a hologram. Your values, ideas and thoughts are a result of you being conditioned to think like that every day since you were born. You are all-powerful and can change your perception of the world as you see fit. Never forget that.

2011/09/08